“Hi,” Carolyn said awkwardly, slipping her coat on over her sweater but not zipping it. Mira didn’t think she could zip it if she tried.
“Hey,” Mira said, standing at the bottom of the steps. “I’m Mira,” she said, even though Carolyn knew who she was. It seemed like the thing to say for their first meeting.
“Oliver,” Oliver said, extending his arm up the steps and shaking Carolyn’s.
Carolyn smiled weakly. “You think you know where Matt is?” she said, looking at Oliver desperately.
Oliver nodded. “Let’s go. It’s gonna be dark before we know it.”
Carolyn nodded and walked to their car.
“Do you wanna sit up front?” Mira said, suddenly feeling awkward about making her sit in the back seat.
“I’m okay,” Carolyn said smiling. “Your legs are a lot longer than mine.” She opened the back door and slid in.
“So I guess congratulations are in order,” Mira said once Oliver had backed out of the driveway.
“Oh yeah, thanks,” Carolyn said although she sounded anything but happy. “The pregnancy has been hard on Matt,” she said, her voice shaky. “He was so excited but I knew he was also stressed and then when he lost his job…”
“It’s okay,” Mira said, reaching her hand in the back seat and patting Carolyn’s knee. “We’re gonna find him.”
They fell into a tense silence. There was so much to say but Mira wasn’t sure how to say it or what to say exactly. She never thought the three of them would be together. She had so many questions about Carolyn’s life, her marriage, the baby coming, but Mira knew she couldn’t ask any of them. So she stayed silent and Carolyn stayed silent and Oliver’s eyes stayed fixed on the road.
The late December sun was dim as they drove west of Albany toward Oliver and Matt’s hometown. Mira worried that it would be dark before they found Matt. Oliver seemed so sure about where they were going but hadn’t told them yet where that was. Mira had to trust Oliver; he was their only hope for finding Matt.
They drove for forty minutes, the landscape growing more and more rural as they went. Soon they were at the valley where Oliver had grown up, Mira’s ears popping as they descended. The trees were bare, the hills surrounding them giving off a purple hue. Dusk was almost upon them.
Mira thought about Matt, realized how much she still cared about him even though she had ruined everything between them. The guilt of ruining Oliver’s friendship with a person he had seen as a brother never really went away. She knew Oliver had made his choice, knew that he was complicit too, but Mira had always blamed herself for what had happened. Oliver had never really had another friend after that, nothing came close to what he’d had with Matt.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet,” Carolyn said from the backseat. “I just can’t focus on talking right now.”
Mira turned and realized her legs were shaking. “It’s okay,” she said. “We don’t mind.”
Oliver drove through the village without stopping. Mira had so many questions, wondered how Oliver could be so sure of where he was going.
“We’re not far from Matt’s parents,” Carolyn said, her voice questioning. “They still don’t know. You know how Matt is with his parents, and I didn’t want to worry them.”
Oliver nodded. “We’re not going there,” he said.
“I figured,” Carolyn said.
Oliver turned off the main road out of town, turning onto a small gravel road. The rocks kicked up dirt, small pebbles hitting the side of the SUV.
“Where are we going?” Carolyn piped up quietly.
“It’s a water hole,” Oliver said. “Matt and I used to go here all the time growing up. It’s where he always went to think if he needed it. It’s where he’d go now.”
“You sound so sure,” Mira said. Suddenly, she had no faith that they would find Matt.
“It’s the only place,” Oliver said.
They drove on, the shadows quickly lengthening, the sky darkening by the minute. The headlights illuminated a twisting country road with evergreen trees dotting the edge. A few houses were tucked into the woods with smoke curling out of chimneys, a string of Christmas lights twinkling in the darkness.
“Here,” Oliver said, suddenly stopping the car. Mira gasped. Ahead of them on the side of the road was a black pickup truck.
“That’s Matt’s truck,” Carolyn said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Oliver pulled over into a clearing. “You guys stay here,” he said before getting out of the car. He went to the trunk and grabbed a flashlight. Mira and Carolyn got out.
“I’m coming with you,” Carolyn said. “Matt’s here. There’s no way I’m not going with you.”
“Me too,” Mira said in solidarity. She thought she saw Carolyn smile.
Oliver sighed but didn’t argue. He was never one to argue. “Here,” he said, handing both Mira and Carolyn flashlights that Mira didn’t know they owned. “Just stay here while I look in the truck.”
This time Carolyn agreed. She knew Oliver was sparing them from what he may find in the truck, but when he shone the flashlight through the windows and looked in the bed, he shook his head and returned to them. “Empty,” he said.
“He must be at the water hole already,” Mira said.
Oliver nodded. “Come on,” he said, walking ahead of them. “It’s an easy walk through this field but then it goes downhill a bit before we get to the water hole. There are some ledges as we get closer and you’ll have to watch your step.”
“Ledges?” Carolyn said, fear in her voice.
“More like sheer drop offs into the water below,” Oliver said. “But you’ll be okay if you follow me.”
Mira knew what was going through Carolyn’s head because the same thing was going through hers. Matt had disappeared without his phone and he was somewhere with the ability to jump off a cliff. The heavy thought hung in the air.
As they walked, the wind picked up and the light completely disappeared, replaced by a bright moon and shining stars. Mira was glad she had brought her warm jacket and hoped that Carolyn was warm enough with her unzipped coat. “Here,” she said offering her elbow to Carolyn. Without a word, Carolyn slipped her arm through. Her warmth helped steady Mira. She had never been one for hikes outside.
They walked, their feet crunching over the grass that was now frozen. It felt like they should be walking faster but Mira knew that they needed to go slowly. She focused on one step in front of the other. None of them spoke.
Soon, Mira heard the sound of rushing water. “We’re close,” Oliver said, slowing down. “We’re gonna start going downhill soon. It’s not steep but be careful not to slip.”
Mira and Carolyn nodded unhooking arms. Mira went ahead of Carolyn and they silently walked in single file. The trail was narrow but the moon was bright, their flashlights beacons of light on the ground. “Careful,” Oliver said as they approached a clearing. Mira could see that the water’s edge was up ahead.
Oliver reached his hand behind Mira and helped Carolyn step down onto the rocks along the water. “Turn off your flashlights,” Oliver said quietly.
Mira wanted to ask why but they both did what he said. Soon, her eyes had completely adjusted to the night, the moon and stars illuminating everything. But she didn’t see Matt and her heart ached. She looked at Carolyn whose shoulders were slumped.
“We’re too late,” Carolyn said, her voice a small whisper.
Mira’s voice was caught in her throat with the realization that Matt was gone. She wanted to put an arm around Carolyn, but they were frozen to her side.
“There he is,” Oliver said pointing up.
Mira looked ahead and up at the ledge across the water and above them. There, she could make out the figure of someone, their silhouette a shadow in the moonlight.
“Matt!” Carolyn screamed, her voice shrill and panicked.
“I’ll go,” Oliver said and before Mira could ask him how, he was wading across the water.
Mira wanted to yell, wanted to tell Oliver to stop and be careful and to not hurt himself, but nothing could come out. She felt paralyzed by fear.
“Oh God,” Carolyn sobbed, resting her head on Mira’s shoulder and somehow Mira’s arms were able to move around Carolyn and hold her.
“It’s okay,” Mira whispered.
Tiny snowflakes started to fall as they watched Oliver move up the trail that would lead him to Matt. They floated and danced, sparkling in the moonlight. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and Mira was transported back in time to when she was young and Matt and Oliver were still friends and everything felt warm and okay. She held Carolyn, this woman who had depended on her and Oliver to save Matt. And Oliver had found him after all of these years.
Matt’s silhouette didn’t move as Oliver approached him. Mira could see both of their forms now at the top of the ledge. Oliver hesitated at first, the snow now swirling around them. But then Mira saw Matt step away from the ledge toward Oliver and fall into Oliver’s arms. The two of them stood together, their shadows embraced in the moonlight, a snowflake landing on Mira’s nose.