It is the first week of school and there is a heat wave. It has been a relatively mild and rainy summer and the blistering temperatures feel startling and unbearable. It is September and I want dry, cool air, not this muggy heat that clings to everything.

Because of the weather, summer was okay for me. This heat reminds me of how hard it could’ve been, but with the rain and moderate temperatures I had more energy than most summers. I was with my children for almost every waking moment and most days I was able to stay present and go outside and really soak in our summer together. There were swimming lessons, a trip to the zoo, fried dough at the fair, blueberry picking, visits with family, fireworks, wilderness camp, library programs, swimming in the pool, the lake, the ocean. I started a small flower stand at the end of my driveway and my children helped me tell the neighbors about the bouquets that were for sale. With all of the rain I haven’t watered my garden since June.

It was a good kind of busy and because of that, the summer weeks stretched into a pleasant kind of endlessness. But now that school is starting, that time has compressed as if our weeks in the sun were mere moments in my mind. The lunches are packed, the school supplies for the classroom in a reusable shopping bag, and it feels like the school year never ended. Here we are again, back to the same morning alarm, the same routine of breakfast and TV and getting dressed. It all feels the same but my son needed new pants because his old ones are too short and both needed new shoes. What worked last year no longer fits.

There is no air conditioning at their school so my children wear tank tops and shorts. I pack frozen paper towels that they can drape around their necks if they get too hot. Later, my daughter tells me that a classmate passed out because of the heat.

Summer was fleeting but I am reminded that this is true for everything. I try to hold onto the moments with my children, try to bury myself deep within their childhoods. But without even realizing, their pants are soon too short and their shoes too tight.

3 Comments

  1. I only just got to read “Blueberry Buckle”. As the comments are closed, I thought I would post here…

    To echo your mom, It is so beautifully written. I have lamented many times over the years the fact that I have not written down the recipes I have loved, especially from the plethora of talented Spanish women that I lived with and ate with day after day. I am so happy that you have your grandma’s, and that you can continue to connect with her on that level. Just last week I said to myself, “Enough is enough” and asked my own Gram for some of her classics.

    In regards to change – My inner experience of “home” is so different every single time I return for a visit, and lately, I have felt increasingly nostalgic. I think part of this is because some old wounds are further along in their healing process and I am also more comfortable in my skin.

    I am glad you had such a lovely summer, and, hopefully, that gorgeous fall weather will make an appearance soon! It truly is the best season.

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. I’m so glad you got some recipes from your Gram! I hope you can make some of them soon and think of her when you do.

      I think we grew up in a pretty special place even if we didn’t necessarily understand that when we were there. I’m glad you’re healing and able to feel that nostalgia as time wears on. I certainly feel nostalgic when I think of a lot of our times together.

  2. Thanks, Katie. It’s getting better all the time ✨

    Yes, It certainly is a special place… and so beautiful! I’m proud of where we come from and of the education we received. I’ve worked in so many schools now, and I’m always thankful to have had such inspiring teachers that continue to serve as role models for me inside and outside the classroom.

    Also, 100% – there are so many times when I’m transported back to moments we spent together. With Fall fast approaching, watching movies and drinking chai tea in your living room comes to mind. That’s one of the reasons I love when you reference your parents’ place in your blog posts, it takes me on a trip down memory lane.

    I think the blueberry bushes must be a “new” addition, and that’s probably a good thing. There are only so many grapes you can eat, but blueberries… I would’ve eaten them all 😸

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